


Fireproof

by xanydee



Series: STLF!verse [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Archangel Cuddles, Cuddly Gabriel, Cuddly Lucifer, Cuddly Michael, Cuddly Raphael, Fluff, M/M, Multi, Possibly Unrequited Love, Slow Burn, Team Free Love, Weechesters, cabriel - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-03
Updated: 2016-12-08
Packaged: 2018-08-19 08:02:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8196935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xanydee/pseuds/xanydee
Summary: Gabriel reflects on all that Team Free Love has been through over the years.Pre-Something To Live For timestamps of all the angsty trouble that they've gone through over the years, from unrequited love,  to self-loathing over mistakes and feeling powerless.Will most likely lead to fluffy and/or smutty post-STLF oneshots ;) So don't worry, I'm not *all* about breaking your hearts <3





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, my muse has decidedly gotten stuck on a part in Something To Live For. 
> 
> On the other hand, she seems to love getting inspiration from songs. 
> 
> This one was inspired by a line in Coleman Hell's song: Fireproof. 
> 
> Not sure where I'll go with this, but it's kind of running along side with STLF and if I continue there'll definitely be some parallels and crossovers in terms of certain plot points and devices. But this one's all me - completely unbeta'ed and no collab on this.

_We must be fireproof with all the Hell we’ve been through - “_ Fireproof” by Coleman Hell

* * *

Gabriel watched two little boys sparring in the parking lot of a rundown, moldy motel. He knew who these boys were. All of heaven did. Heaven had gone through _great_ lengths to ensure that these boys would exist together, as brothers.

He hadn’t meant to watch them, but the youngest of the two had recently started praying to him. And while normally Gabriel had tuned out all messages from or related to Heaven, this little boy's prayers had burst through loudly, but reverently, making them impossible to ignore. So Gabriel, having grown more curious in his time on Earth, found himself flying to the boys’ location and watching them from the safety of his invisibility wards.

In his time in heaven, before his mates had started fighting, he had watched these souls curiously. They all knew that these two were destined for something great, just due to the sheer brilliance of their souls. They far outshone the rest of humanity's souls combined, rivaling the brilliance of an angels Graces. Their brightness was nowhere near that of an Archangels’, but they were definitely as bright, if not brighter, than even the most high ranking of the lesser angels.

Father would never tell them, when any one dared to ask why those two human souls were so bright and beautiful, and why they weren’t angels instead of humans.  Father would just grow quiet, and solemn, and the angels would immediately change the topic or begin to do something else - to make Father happy again.

 

The boys’ father was watching from a short distance away. Giving pointers, occasionally telling them to freeze so that he could fix a stance, or a hold. It seemed unfair to the angel in hiding, that he was forcing these boys to fight, especially since the youngest was so much smaller than the oldest. They looked to be about six and ten. So young, too young to being forced to learn the level of physical combat that their father was teaching them.

Gabriel suddenly sensed another angelic presence, and forced himself to make sure his wards were still in place and holding strong, and increased the strength around his invisibility wards to ensure that even angels would not be able to sense him, unless it was one of his elder brothers of course. In which case, it wouldn’t matter either way.

Gabriel looked around, trying to discern where the angelic presence was coming from. He startled to find that the angel was not ten feet away from him. But if his expression was to go by, he had not yet sensed Gabriel, so Gabriel could only assume that his wards were holding strong.

Gabriel’s heart clenched painfully as he realized which angel this was. The angel took on the appearance of one of those in their vessel line; it was a female vessel with long dark raven coloured hair that matched their wings, and vibrant ocean blue eyes that matched the hue of their Grace.  

 _Castiel_.

His favourite little youngling before he left Heaven. One of the very few that seemed to understand free will better than the rest.  The one with the little rebellious streak, often forgoing orders in favour of curiosity.

Suddenly, Castiel’s attention turned towards the direction of where Gabriel was perched.  Gabriel froze. He was confident that his wards were holding, but then, Castiel had always been a perceptive one.

Castiel’s piercing blue gaze met Gabriel’s whiskey coloured one, and for a moment Gabriel believed that Castiel could truly see him, despite all his powerful wards.  But then, Castiel tilted her head and looked as though she could sense him, only to shake her head a moment later and turn her attention back to the boys sparring below.  

Gabriel let out a breath that he didn't know he was holding. Not that he _needed_ to breath,  but he’d picked up the habit over the millennia that he’d been on earth.

Safe in the knowledge his presence and identity were still hidden, Gabriel also returned his attention to the boys.

The elder vessel (Dean, if his memories of the younger vessel's prayers were accurate) had, predictably, pinned the younger (Sam, according to his prayers), though it looked as though Sam had put on a valiant effort. Dean had a bloody nose and what looked like a black eye forming.  

Their father called for a halt and Dean let Sam up.

“Good job, Dean. Why do you go put some ice on that eye so CPS doesn’t get on our asses again.” Their father said to the eldest. “Yessir,” Dean replied, hurrying into their room to follow his orders. His soul was beaming in pride at the small acknowledgement of accomplishment their father had given him.

Their father then turned to the youngest.  “Very good job, Sam. It took much longer for Dean to pin you this time, and you gave a pretty good fight.” Sam beamed in little six-year-old pride. But then their father continued. "But next time, try not to leave any marks on your brother. We have a hard enough time avoiding getting you guys taken away by CPS as is. A black eye just makes it that much harder to dodge them." The little six year old visibly deflated. “Sorry, sir. ‘Be more careful, promise.” Sam said dejectedly.

“That’s all I ask,” their father said. “Now go on and wash up with your brother.” Sam nodded and hurried to follow his orders like his big brother.

Gabriel shook his head at their father’s parenting techniques. He understood the sentiment. The man was an ex-marine turned hunter. He knew about all those things that went bump in the night, both supernatural and human. But that didn’t excuse the fact that he was essentially robbing these boys of a childhood. Even more so with Dean. It was so obvious from his soul that he had aged much faster than he was supposed to have. The boy was more a father to Sam than the boys’ own father had ever been so far.

Gabriel glanced at Castiel, who was also watching the interaction between the three. She had a frown on her face that told Gabriel that she felt the same as he about the man’s method of raising his sons.

* * *

 

_Dear Gabriel, bestest angel of them all, please help me to be smarter like Dean and Daddy so that I can help keep us safe. Thank you, Sam._


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Mild Underage Non-explicit Wincest. As in, Sam is 17 here, but no actual sex is had. And it's all in Sam's head - no actual sexual interaction between the boys is had. 
> 
> I'm not adding the tags because it's not the point of the chapter, and there will be no weecest in future chapters. This chapter is setting up for future winchester interactions, as well as future sabriel interactions, and providing a background on Gabriel's thoughts on the boys.

 

Over the years, Sam continued to pray to Gabriel. And through those prayers he got to watch the boy grow into a young man. And boy did those poor, sad, sons of bitches ever go through a lot in their young lives. Enough so that Sam had even attracted the attention of a Zanna. Though from what Gabriel could tell, that Zanna may have done more harm than good for the boy. He had fed that little seedling of an idea about running away - about getting out of the hunting life - about it not being normal or something that he should want to do. Before that Zanna came along, Sam had wanted nothing more than to be exactly like his big brother and his father.

When Gabriel thought about it in retrospect, that’s where a lot of things went wrong for the boys. Where they used to present a united front of loyalty and family, Sam had now been shown a path where that wasn’t enough. He often wonders how things may have been different if that Zanna hadn’t interfered in Sam’s life. Would he have gone down that path anyway? Would he have been so desiring of a “normal” life and so enraged at being deprived of one that he became the mirror of Lucifer? Or would he have instead just had a strong loyal relationship with the two older Winchesters? Would he have instead learned to be an obedient soldier as Dean had? Gabriel pondered on creating a pocket universe to see what would have happened if the Zanna had never showed up, but in the end shrugged and forgot about it.

 

As the boys grew, Gabriel received fewer and fewer prayers. He wasn’t sure if Sam was just praying less, or if he was just praying less to Gabriel. While he missed hearing Sam’s young ethusiastic accounts of his daily going-ons, he knew that it was for the best that he just ignore those boys. They were nothing more than props in the Grand Apocalypse play; they would be used and discarded by his former mates, and there was nothing he could do about it. It didn’t serve him to get attached to the WInchesters.

One day, a number of years after the Zanna had left Sam, a particular prayer hit Gabriel hard. He’d been halfway across the world in some random third world country, setting up a sweatshop driver to get his after forcing countless children to early graves from heat and exhaustion. Gabriel didn’t often hope that his marks got themselves killed by his pranks, but this bastard was one of the few where he hoped that he died slowly and horribly. Because not only had he overworked these poor children, but he had forced himself on them on more than just a few occasions.

Gabriel was scowling at the man, waiting to see him fall for his prank, when Sam’s prayer hit him with such a force that he stumbled.

 

_Please please help me, I’m so s-sorry, I-I know I shouldn’t feel like this, please stop this. Please save me._

 

Sam hadn’t even start or sign off his prayers like he normally did.

 

Without even thinking about it, Gabriel found himself flying to where Sam was.

 

The scene before him when he arrived, safely hidden under his wards of course, was not one he had expected. 

Sam was alone in yet another run down motel, laying on yet another moldy dusty motel bed. He was under the covers, face down, ass up. And it was blatantly obvious what he was doing.

 

If Gabriel had needed to breath, he probably wouldn’t be able to right now.

 

Sam was obviously in his mid to late teens, though it was hard to say for sure - anywhere between 15 and 17 Gabriel estimated. He hadn’t really been keeping track of the vessels ages. Because it didn’t matter how old they were when it went down. They could be teenagers or full-grown adults, as long as they had the wherewithal to be able to make a deal and to say yes to Michael and Lucifer, it didn’t really matter to the Angels and Demons how old they were, as long as they were ready.

 

Sam moaned. Dragging Gabriel out of his thoughts. He should leave. He really really should. But he couldn’t bring his eyes to leave Sam’s face as the younger vessel gasped and moaned under his own ministrations.

 

 _Well I might has well figure out why the hell he prayed at least. Since I’m here at least._ Gabriel rationalized as he moved closer to Sam and placed a finger on his forehead to read his thoughts. Oh. So Sam was 17, and he was planning on leaving to go to college. But that wasn’t why he had prayed. No. The images in Sam’s mind made it all too clear. 

Sam was fantasizing about being taken, slowly, tenderly, _lovingly_. 

By his older brother.

 

Ah.

 

So that was an aspect that was shared by his former mates' vessels it would seem. Love, and a physical desire to please and to be as close as can be managed. But these were _humans_. Humans looked down on this kind of love. Brothers were not allowed to love each other in this manner. It was wrong; it was immoral; it was disgusting.  When Gabriel was still in heaven, he couldn’t understand how humans could view any type of love as wrong, whether it be between races, genders, or family members. But then his mates started to fight. And he could then understand just how badly love could go wrong.

 

Gabriel could tell that the fantasy was coloured with Sam’s suffering, of knowing that his love was impossible, and that it was wrong. He looked at the young man’s face, and even though it was screwed tight in pleasure, Gabriel could see tears forming at the corners of his eyes.

 

Gabriel sighed. For some reason he found that he couldn’t just walk away and ignore the boy’s suffering. So he did something he swore he wouldn’t do.

 

He interfered.

 

Gabriel took Sam’s memories of indulging in these feelings, replaced the fantasy Dean with a generic male stranger from Sam’s memories, and buried Sam’s desires for his brother deep. He couldn’t take them completely, but he could make it so that they didn’t harm the boy any longer.

 

 _That's it, that will be the one and **only** time that I interfere with these vessels._ Gabriel thought as he flew back to the sweatshop to see how his mark fared against the prank he had set up for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think :) Comments and kudos spur me on! 
> 
>  
> 
> The next chapter will probably focus more on the history and development of Cabriel <3  
> This chapter was going to, but my muse kind of liked staying with the idea of Sam praying to Gabriel throughout his young life.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel remembers Gabriel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My muse is still woefully quiet for Something To Live For - but she seems to like Fireproof - so here's another chapter! :) 
> 
> The first half is basically Cas' POV of the first chapter.
> 
> Another warning: extremely minor weecest at the second half - basically Dean's having a wetdream but doesn't actually take care of it.

Castiel knew that he should not be watching the vessels. He had his duties to attend to after all. But their souls were so impossibly bright; he could not help but be drawn to them. He watched as the children spared while their father coached them. They were so young, younger than most human cultures deemed appropriate to begin such vigorous military training.

The eldest, Dean, was not a believer. He did not have faith in heaven and Father like the youngest, Samuel, did. He did, however, seem to have faith in his brother, as young as they both were. He had such strong faith that his brother would be strong and smart and would grow to be a great man.

Castiel remembered a time when someone had had that kind of faith in him. As a fledgling Castiel was always getting himself into trouble; he was always too curious for his own good. But Gabriel, in all his beauty and joy, believed in him, always found a way to keep him from getting the more harsh punishments for his disobedience. 

 

As Castiel watched the vessels, he let his mind wander, remembering bits of his past that he did not normally allow himself to think about, simply because those memories just hurt too much.

Gabriel’s smirk when he told Castiel not to step on that fish. Gabriel’s exasperation when Castiel almost set off that volcano, which would have wiped out all of the lines of humanity in one go. Gabriel’s laughter when Castiel had been startled at the introduction at the first Pagan gods. How animated Gabriel got when he told stories to the fledglings and younglings, always with Castiel in his lap - Castiel had been a cuddly child. The serene look on Gabriel’s face whenever he was grooming Castiel’s wings, or having his own wings groomed.

The way Gabriel started spending less time with the younglings, and more time with the other archs. How Castiel started seeing less and less of him, and how when he did, Gabriel’s smile was gone, replaced with stress lines, and frowns. How  _ tired _ and  _ ancient _ Gabriel had started to look. How Michael and Lucifer’s fighting rang throughout all of heaven, and then, how Gabriel was just gone.

Castiel’s heart ached at the memories. But he had long since learned to not show his sorrow at Gabriel’s death - because he had to be dead, he would never have just abandoned his family like so many other angels had done at the time - because he knew it would be fruitless. Gabriel had been one who cared about what Castiel felt, who had held him when he had been frightened of punishments, or when he had been concerned at the power that the Pagan gods had. Everyone else expected Castiel to fall in line like the rest, and to school his emotions. Because emotions were a thing that only the  _ mud monkeys _ allowed themselves to be affected by. Angels were better than that, because angels were Father’s first children, and therefore far superior to all of His other creations.

 

For a moment Castiel thought he felt another presence watching the young boys.

 

_ There. _ Castiel stared at the spot where he could swear he felt the presence of another being. But try as he might, he could not see or hear anything. He took a step towards the presence, when suddenly it was like it had never existed. He shook his head,  _ It must be because I was thinking of him again. I am merely missing my brother. _

Castiel returned his attention to the boys below in time to see their father admonishing Samuel for marking Dean. He frowned. For all his knowledge on human interactions, even Castiel could tell that their father was much too harsh on the young child, on both of the children in fact. 

 

Castiel heard a ping on the wavelengths from heaven, asking where he was. He hurried off to ensure his duties were completed before he was chastised for his curiosity once again.

 

\----

 

Castiel continued to watch the vessels as they grew. But did so more sparingly and carefully. He had been caught a handful of times so far, and he winced at the memories of his punishments; he did not wish to repeat those incidents. 

Castiel found himself being drawn much more to Dean than he was to Samuel. Perhaps that was because he knew that Dean was the Righteous Man, or would be, once he was old enough. 

However, Samuel was intriguing in his own right, being the boy with the demon blood. Especially since the boy seemed to be so innocent and caring, despite the demon blood inside him. But Dean was consistently self-sacrificing. He always gave more for Samuel than he was for himself.

 

Occasionally, Castiel would drop in while the boys were sleeping; he had always found the concept of sleep intriguing and disturbing. How disorienting it would feel to be just not conscious for  _ hours _ . 

Tonight was one of those nights that Castiel watched the brothers sleep. He never interfered, even when they had nightmares, because his job on earth was to observe. Tonight, it would seem, Dean was having another nightmare and Castiel watched as Dean whimpered and writhed on his bed in his sleep.

“Sammy”

_ Ah, so he is having another nightmare about his brother. _

Castiel startled slightly when Dean suddenly bolted straight up from his bed, panting wildly and he whipped his head back and forth, seemingly seeking out his brother. When his eyes rested on his sleeping brother’s form on the bed across from him, Dean relaxed, flopping back onto the bed, running his hand through his hair.

“Fuck.” he whispered, and Castiel tilted his head, curious at what the dream had been about.

Dean looked down at his body, and Castiel’s eyes followed, and then widened at the obvious tent in the blankets. Dean groaned and rubbed his face. “That’s so wrong,” Dean muttered, and suddenly it dawned on Castiel that Dean had not in fact been having a nightmare. Castiel felt a wave of sympathy for Dean. He knew enough about human cultures that he knew that having sexual dreams about a family member was extremely taboo.

Castiel continued to watch as Dean fisted the sheets beside him and began mumbling. Castiel moved slightly closer to catch what was being said.

“Headless vampires, gutting a werewolf, finding shifter skins, Uncle Bobby in lingerie, bloody puppies, Dad dying in a ditch.”

It would seem that Dean was thinking of unpleasant images to try and stave off his erection. Castiel was aware enough that this was a common tactic amongst teenage boys when they found themselves with unwanted erections.

After a few deep breaths, it appeared that it was working, as there was no longer a tent poking up from the blankets.

Dean’s hands came up to rub his face. “Must just be hormones, we spend too much time together. I just need to go get laid. That’s it. Yeah.” Dean was mumbling, obviously trying to make himself feel better about the erotic dream he had had about his brother.

Castiel frowned. Dean was fourteen. As Castiel recalled, that was an age that the current human culture deemed as too young to be engaging in sexual acts. 

He shook his head. Clearly, this was further evidence that their father was neglecting their upbringing; further evidence that Dean was maturing faster than was ordinary.

Castiel’s thoughts abruptly flashed to Gabriel, and he wondered at what he would have thought about this situation if he were alive. Would he have approved of allowing the vessels to be treated this way? Would he have intervened? Or would have let it play out, as Michael had ordered the Host to do? Castiel stopped his thoughts in their tracks, aware that they were becoming borderline blasphemous, and he did not want another round of his earlier punishment.

Castiel watched as Dean slowly drifted back to sleep, before flitting off to continue his duties.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think! Comments and Kudos are life! <3


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel reveals his identity to Castiel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the more I add to this the more I'm finding that a lot of these chapters are going to be canon for Something To Live For. This chapter and the first chapter for sure, I'm still iffy on chapters 2 and 3 being canon to the STLF!verse. I still need to consult with Esoulix about it.

The first time in millennia that Gabriel actually interacted with Castiel had been an unfortunate meeting. Castiel had been looking for Sam and Dean and had managed to worm his way into TV Land when Gabriel was trying to get it through those two chuckleheads that they needed to just man up and accept the consequences of their actions and accept their damn destinies and get this whole farce over with once and for all.  Gabriel could admit that he was a little harsh with the young one, but he could not help but be a little jealous of the boys’ trust in the angel. Nor of Castiel’s loyalty and protectiveness to the boys. Gabriel wanted so badly to have that. Both Castiel’s loyalty and the boys’ trust. 

So, yeah, he may have put Castiel into a TV show that was more difficult to deal with than the one he was putting the two hunters in.  Hey, he was a Walking Dead fan, so sue him.

The look Castiel gave him when he finally escaped and made it back to the Winchesters nearly killed him. He hated seeing that look on his face, and knowing that it was for him, but he put on a good front. He had a goal here, and he needed to see it through. He could patch things up with Cassie after.  The second place he put Castiel while he talked with the Winchesters was much tamer. In fact it wasn’t a show at all; it was a replica of Gabriel’s apartment.

 

“Hey Castiel.”

Castiel turned around. He had been cautiously inspecting the apartment.  “Loki.” Castiel stated, narrowing his eyes suspiciously. Gabriel knew that Castiel knew that he wasn’t totally fooled by his wards. Too perceptive for his own damn good, this young one.

“Yepp. That’s one of the names I go by.” Gabriel replied, flopping carelessly unto his favourite chair.

“Why have you brought me here?” Castiel asked. “And what was that last place? Those people were in so much  _ pain _ .” Castiel looked down, apparently somehow ashamed at not being able to relieve them of their pains.

“Oh, that? My favourite show right now, The Walking Dead. Good show! And don’t worry, those people aren’t actually in pain - that’s just their characters. ‘ **No people were harmed in the making of this show** .’ and all that. They weren’t real.” Gabriel said glibly, but somehow earnestly at the same time in an attempt to reassure Castiel.  Castiel looked at Gabriel thoughtfully and curiously at that. He had definitely picked up on the reassurance, and found it odd that the Trickster would try and reassure an angel.

“You are not merely a Trickster, are you? You are much too powerful.” Castiel asked, tilting his head slightly. “Especially given what I know about the Pagan gods and their current power levels. Most humans have converted away from the Pagan religions. And Loki has been no different.”

“Ahhh but you underestimate the power of the Nerdom. Those comic book and movie nerds have been more than enough to keep Thor and I going.” Gabriel replied, grinning. “Odin bless the nerds.” He said fondly. 

Castiel narrowed his eyes suspiciously at that. “I still do not believe that this ‘nerdom’ you refer to would be able to give you such power. Even the Pagans at their height did not have such power.”

Gabriel sighed. “You’re not gonna let this go are you? You’re gonna keep looking until you figure it all out aren’t you?”

Castiel eyes widened, noticing that Gabriel’s questions were a silent admission that he was indeed more than just a Pagan god. “Of course,” He replied. “Even if you are just a pagan god, heaven needs to know that there is an alternative power source that you have. It is our responsibility to keep track of such things.” 

Gabriel hung his head. He was so screwed. Either way, heaven would be alerted of his presence. And if Gabriel allowed Castiel to go back out into the world, and therefore back to heaven, heaven would surely send other angels to do a more thorough investigation, and Michael and Raphael would know for sure where he was.  Perhaps he could appeal to Castiel; maybe if he won him over, he could remain safe.

He sighed again. And looked at Castiel, who was once again looking at him curiously, as though he were trying to figure it all out on his own.  “Fine, I’ll tell you. But I need your word, right here, right now, that you will not tell anyone else. Not heaven, not the Winchesters, not any other being. Do you understand? I would be in grave, grave danger if anyone were to find out my true identity. Hell, you might even be in danger, they might not believe that you didn’t know all along who I was.” Gabriel told Castiel in a manner that was much more serious than his normal presence. Castiel’s eyes widened once more at the statement that his own safety might be in question.

“Who  _ are _ you? Why would my safety be in question?” He asked Gabriel incredulously.

“Your word.” Gabriel insisted.

“Fine. You have my word.” Castiel groused finally.

“You need to say the full thing. I will not admit my deepest secret without an official oath.” Gabriel said.

It was Castiel that sighed this time, though it was a little outside of his normal character. Perhaps he had been spending too much time with the Winchesters.  “Fine. You have my word that I will not tell another being, in heaven, on earth, or any other plane, of your true identity -”

Gabriel interrupted “and if you do, you forfeit yourself to my service.” 

Castiel’s eyes widened again (they were going to get stuck that way if he kept doing that) and then narrowed. “-and if I should reveal your identity to another being, I shall forfeit myself into your service.”

“There, now was that so hard?” Gabriel grinned happily at him.

“Again, I will ask,  _ who are you _ ? How is my safety going to be in question by knowing your identity? And how do you have the power to place me in your servitude if I break my oath?” Castiel pressed.

Despite the oath, Gabriel still found himself hesitating. He knew that this knowledge would be a large blow to his favourite young one. He was not looking forward to this fallout.

 

Gabriel took a deep breath. It was a habit he picked up from the humans that he found to be just as steadying as they did when they did it.

 

“My true name is Gabriel.”

 

…

 

…

 

Castiel just stared at him. Gabriel couldn’t for the life of him read passed the young one’s usual stoic expression.  Finally, Castiel narrowed his eyes at Gabriel. “I  _ mourned _ for you.”  Apparently the young one had grown a pair, to be staring down his superior as he was. Although maybe Gabriel was no longer viewed as a superior, having run off like he did.

“I couldn’t take it anymore Cassie. It hurt too much to see them fighting the way they did.” Gabriel said sadly.

Castiel’s gaze softened slightly at that. He looked away, turning his back on Gabriel. Gabriel felt touched that the young one still trusted him at least that much. That he at least believed that Gabriel would not attack him at the first opportunity.  Castiel turned back towards Gabriel, “Do you not think it hurt the rest of us just as much? We didn’t even know why they were fighting.”  Castiel’s eyes were filled with grief as he continued, “do you know that they told us that you abandoned us? That you left because we were all failures? That you could no longer stand us?” 

Gabriel squeezed his eyes shut in pain. He hadn’t thought about what his mates would tell the rest of the children when he disappeared. “I never believed it.” Castiel continued, each word digging daggers into Gabriel’s heart. “I  _ knew _ that you would have rather died than abandon us. You would have never just left, especially without a word. I believed that you were killed, by a demon, by Michael, or by Lucifer. I believed that their lies were just that,  _ lies _ ; that they were covers for what they truly did to you. Manipulations to try and get us to their side, since you were always the closest to the rest of us.”

“Then, why did you stay?” Gabriel asked, softly. “Why stay under their command if you believed they killed me?”

Castiel stared at him. “Where else would I have gone? The  _ Pagans? _ ” he spat.

Gabriel flinched.

  
At that moment, Gabriel heard Dean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think :) I love hearing your opinions   
> I'll try to have the next one out by next Monday night (Pacific Time).


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okies my sweets. This is a super short chapter. Esoulix and I are doing NaNoWriMo for Something To Live For so I'm going to be forcing my muse to focus on writing over there.   
> But! I said that I would post the next chapter in a week and I always try to follow through with what I say.
> 
> Also, in case you haven't noticed yet - Fireproof is now canon for STLF - the nature of this fic will now mostly be timestamps for pre-STLF heartachey angsty stuff. Probably leading to more fluffy/smutty stuff post-STLF. Iunno yet, we'll see where it takes us :)
> 
> Enjoy!  
> -x

Gabriel watched Sam as he sat on the edge of the bed of the latest moldy motel du jour. 

Sam looked worse than he did at the end of the six months of the whole Mystery spot thing. It must have been because he didn’t have anything to go after. No revenge driving him this time. Dean was gone, and there was nothing he could do. No demon would take his deal. And as far as he could find, there wasn’t a way to bring a soul back from hell. 

So, he drank himself stupid. He still took on cases, but more than half the time he was drunk. He had lost all will to live now that his brother was gone. And gone to a place he could where he could never follow. Even if he died, there was no guarantee that he would follow Dean down to hell, and even if he did go to hell (which he was sure he belonged, given how unclean he was), the demons would surely keep the boys apart. Because they knew that more than anything, Sam wanted to be with his brother, and because they knew that the boys were obviously stronger together.

So, he drank, and took stupid risks. Because there was no one there to stop him. Bobby was holed up in Sioux Falls not faring much better, drinking just as hard as Sam was. Ruby was trapped down in hell. And that was the extent of his allies.

Gabriel hung his head after watching Sam for a few days. He had tried  _ so hard _ not to let Sam get to this point. It was only a matter of time before one of those wretched demons came after him and manipulated him into drinking demon blood. That was the obvious course of events. Sam was still too weak to be of use as Lucifer’s vessel. Gabriel silently wept as he watched Sam’s soul dim as his grief overtook him. That beautiful soul, once so bright and vibrant, now marred with the darkness of grief. Soon it would be mangled into the darkness of revenge, and the demon blood would snuff out any innocence and goodness that was once there. 

Gabriel squeezed his eyes shut, and turned his head away before flying off to the other side of the world. He couldn’t - no.  _ Wouldn’t _ \- watch the destruction of such a beautiful soul. 

It wasn’t his place any more to interfere with these boys. He had already done more than he should have, and there was nothing more he could do. This wasn’t his problem any more. 

So, Gabriel did the thing he was best at. He ran, and he hid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! As always, kudos, comments, bookmarks, and subscriptions are life! Let me know what you think! I love reading your comments when I get them <3
> 
> The next chapter is probably not going to be until the first week/mid-December, once NaNoWriMo is done and Esoulix and I have started cleaning up and posting what we've written.
> 
> Love ya's!  
> -x


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Gabriel recalls when his first family was happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Esoulix and I got pretty far in NaNoWriMo, although we didn't meet the word count goal. Real Life™ decided to bite us both in the ass so we lost valuable writing time, so we only made it to 30,000.  
> But! Not all was lost. We did work out a bunch of plot :3
> 
> So this is a bit of Gabriel's backstory. Pre-Amara being locked up, Pre-Lucifer Falling, Post-Archangel bond forming.
> 
> Enjoy! :3
> 
> -X

Being around a family, even a rag tag one like the Winchester clan, brought back bittersweet memories. Memories of a time before things went so assbackward sideways. Memories of Michael and Lucifer singing in the Garden while he and Raphael groomed each others wings and Dad and Amara watched with smiles on their faces. 

Memories of Lucifer teaching him all the little tricks of illusions so they could play pranks on Raphael and Michael and each other. Memories of Lucifer bringing him down to Earth to show him the beauty of Dad’s creations, despite not  _ technically _ being allowed to. Memories of Luci showing him how intricate and complicated and fascinating Nature was. How it destroyed and created just as easily as Dad could. How it mimicked the balance that Dad and Amara provided the universe. 

Memories of watching with fascination as Dad created more siblings for them. These siblings weren’t nearly as powerful as the four of them were, but they were beautiful and adorable and wonderful nonetheless. 

Memories of how he and his older brothers taught these new siblings how to fly, how to use their abilities, and how to appreciate their Father’s creations, namely, each other. 

Memories of how, with the introduction of these new siblings, the four of them realized how much they loved each other. Of how much more they felt for each other than they did for their younger siblings. Of them figuring out, quite by accident, how to bond with each other. And of how their father had been so happy at their discovery. 

Memories of how complementary the four of them were to each other. Of how well their flock worked because of that.

Michael, the eldest. The one who kept them all in line, who loved to be the leader and protector of the four. Who took care of them and kept them from harm, and covered for them when they went against Dad’s “rules.” (Really, they more were like guidelines back then)

Lucifer, the second eldest. The heart and light of the group. The one who showed them all how to have fun and appreciate beauty. Who could unerringly get Michael to relax and smile.

Raphael, the second youngest. The rock of the group. The one who had a quiet grace to him, who could quell any disagreement before it went too far, and always knew the right words that provide a balm to any hurt.

And Gabriel, their Little One, the youngest. Gabriel could never figure out what his role in their flock was. He adored his bondmates, worshiped them even. He always wanted to make them smile, make them laugh, make them happy. But when there was a fight, he always ran. He hated seeing them fight, and he never knew what to do or what to say to make it better. So he always hid until Raphael found him and let him know everything was okay again. 

 

\- - -

 

Gabriel was hiding in his favourite tree once more. Luci had taken a prank a step too far, and now Mikey was mad at him, and had been yelling at him all morning. 

In his favourite tree, he found that he could block out the sound of the yelling, and just watch reflections on the pond and pretend that it all wasn’t happening. 

“Knew I’d find you here,” said a quiet, and deep voice to his left. Gabriel closed his eyes, and leaned his head back against the tree. 

“Raphael.”

Raphael smiled. “How come Lucifer, and Michael get their own nicknames but not I?” He teased. Gabriel peeked open an eye at him, smiling despite himself. “You  _ want _ me to call you Raphie?” He asked in reply, grinning at his older brother. 

Raphael shrugged. “I admit, I didn’t like it at first. But it’s growing on me.” He said, bumping Gabriel’s shoulder.

Gabriel grinned, and waggled the fingers of his right hand at Raphael’s bare left shoulder. Hair began to grow in the shapes of the letters R-A-P-H-I-E there. 

Raphael looked down in surprise before he barked a laugh. “Very funny, Little One.” he said with a soft smile. 

Gabriel leaned over and pressed a soft kiss to that smile. “You always know how to make me feel better,” he said softly. “I just wish I knew how to repay you.” He bowed his head slightly, resting it on Raphael’s shoulder. 

Raphael rested his hand on the nape of Gabriel’s neck, “Your smile is payment enough, Little One.” Gabriel looked up at him skeptically, but this was an old conversation, and he knew that that was the best answer he was going to get. He sighed and leaned back against the tree again.

“Have they stopped fighting once more?” He asked hesitantly. Raphael smiled.

“Yes. Lucifer is in the middle of making it up to Michael right now.” He said with a sly grin. Gabriel quirked an eyebrow and smirked. 

“Well, then shall we go join them?”

Raphael grinned. “That was my initial intention for coming to find you, yes. But if this pond is so fascinating I could leave you b-” Gabriel tackled him out of the tree. Spreading his gorgeous bronze and gold wings, and taking them both in flight before letting Raphael go. 

Raphael spread his pale blue and gold wings and hovered next to Gabriel gleefully. Gabriel returned the grin.

“Well, what are you waiting for? Race you there!” He cried as he zoomed off in the direction of the two eldest bondmates. 

 

Raphael laughed as he beat Gabriel by a hair. Gabriel huffed. One day he’d beat Raphael in a race - he just needed to practice more. 

The two youngest archangels found their elder counterparts cuddling in cocooned and entangled wings. Luci was slowly stroking and grooming Mikey’s wonderful white and gold wings, while Mikey was nuzzling Luci’s beautiful rose gold and gold wings. Both looked relaxed and sated and comfortable. 

Gabriel’s smiled, relieved that they had made up. “Uh-oh. Did we miss out on all the fun?” He asked. Michael and Lucifer looked up at Raphael and Gabriel and reached out for them, indicating that they should join their cuddle session. Gabriel snuggled into Lucifer’s side while Raphael did the same with Michael. Lucifer hummed contently. 

“I’m sorry,” He said softly, placing a light kiss to the top of Gabriel’s head. “I know you hate it when we fight.”

Michael spread his wings a bit to stroke Gabriel’s arm, “I am sorry as well, Little One. I know my yelling upsets you.”

Gabriel reveled in his bondmates affections. “It’s alright, I just wish I knew what to do to make it better.” He said softly. 

Michaels wings wrapped tightly around the four of them, and Lucifer’s embrace tightened as well. “You’re perfect the way you are, Little One.” Luci whispered. “And even when we’re fighting, we still love you, you know that right?”

Gabriel nuzzled into Lucifer’s shoulder. “I know. I love you guys too.” He whispered back. 

Raphael smiled, and burrowed closer to Michael. “We don’t have any duties left for today, shall we relax for awhile?” He suggested quietly, not wanting to disturb the renewed peace amongst his flock.

The other three hummed in agreement simultaneously, all smiling when they realized that they had. And the four of them settled into a quiet evening of cuddling in the Garden.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does anyone have any idea what a Gabriel/Lucifer/Michael/Raphael ship would be called?? I couldn't find it on any rare-pair list.
> 
> Also! Esoulix and I are desperately looking for a beta for Something To Live For. Does anyone know how we can go about finding such a lovely person?
> 
> Loves,  
> X


End file.
